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| 1. | Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from magic. |
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| 2. | Definition of 'Free': You pay for it whether or not you elect to receive it. |
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| 3. | Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it, but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone's satisfaction. |
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| 4. | I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart. |
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| 5. | I'm content to stand on tradition. I'm even more content to wipe my feet on it. |
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| 6. | If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's domain? |
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| 7. | Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent. |
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| 8. | Life is like an analogy. |
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| 9. | Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until things start to go your way. |
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| 10. | No one pays me to be nice. |
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| 11. | The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself. |
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| 12. | The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful happening to somebody else. |
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| 13. | The good thing about being Dr. Frankenstein is that you can always make new friends. |
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| 14. | The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap. |
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| 15. | The way to a man's heart is through his chest. |
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| 16. | There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them. |
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| 17. | This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow. |
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| 18. | Violence is the first refuge of the violent. |
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| 19. | When all else fails, complicate matters. |
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| 20. | Where can I get some tat? I'd like to trade it in. |
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